he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
