Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
