but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
