You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
