I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
