I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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