Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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