i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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