he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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