i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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