Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
