She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
