I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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