i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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