"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
you made out with another girl for some wings
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
