Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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