Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
