there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
