she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
