i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
