I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
