I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish i was in the wii world.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
