and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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