Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
