we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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