Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
