her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
