Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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