I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
