If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
