I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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