Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
