operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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