worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
