judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
