get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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