I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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