Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
