Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize