The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
