Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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