I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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