I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
