So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
