We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
