I cannot find my penis.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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