I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
