You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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