Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
