Say something about gay babies.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
