I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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