I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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