belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
