his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
