He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize