its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
