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Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
