If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
