Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize