You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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