I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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