this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
