3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
