Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
