sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
