Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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