Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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